Im at strip club and am horny
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
