found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
