I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We have so much sex to catch up on
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
