Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
They are going to name an STD after you.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
