he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I had to cum in my sink.
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