Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Four minutes until I can fart!
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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