You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
