decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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