My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
