I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
