Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Randomize
