I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
