I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
