Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
