Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
