Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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