??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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