How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
