My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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