You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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