3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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