why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
