You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
