Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
only you would photoshop your dick
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
as a side note pls kill me
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
