Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
