You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
