I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
