i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
