nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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