R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
