The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
