mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
