my mouth tastes like poor choices
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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