I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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