they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Randomize
