dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Screwed.edu
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
