I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
