i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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