Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Randomize
