Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
