shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
