My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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