did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
soo... how was my night?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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