Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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