I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
