I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
pray to the hookup gods
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize