Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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