Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We left the knife in your bed.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
