Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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