you win again, gameday.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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